Insano alien models

Ok, I am not a feminist fascist in any way, shape or form but I feel compelled to post something about the ABSOLUTE CRAZINESS surrounding Ralph Lauren and those pictures at the moment.

It is incredible that a high fashion label like Ralph Lauren think that those girls in the 'extreme' airbrushed picture look good (I am LOVING how people are referring to the other as the 'untouched' image – yeh RIGHT – they are both airbrushed to death, but the 'extreme' version takes the concept to new levels). I love high fashion and I love the way that many of these 5'10", size 8 models look when they walk down the runway or appear in adverts. They are a different breed – plenty of these girls are perfectly healthy and do not have eating disorders, but are just lucky enough to have outstanding genes. However, there are times when you see girls in magazines and on the catwalk (usually the latter in my experience – perhaps because they're not airbrushed healthy!) where they look emaciated, gaunt and plain old just-too-thin. But what Ralph Lauren have done to these pictures makes the models look like aliens. It is so extreme it is laughable. I even wonder if those who are dealing with eating disorders and therefore may be particularly sensitive to such images would find the 'extreme' picture something to aspire to, in preference to the 'untouched' image.

What is perhaps most alarming is that these pictures have obviously been through various stages of approval and sign off – one assumes at a high level – in order to appear in the marketing campaign. Which must mean that more than one person within the organisation thought these were acceptable advertising images. AGAIN – didn't they learn their lesson the first time?

It all comes back to the same thing. The media (a nebulous concept I agree, but I think it unfair to limit the reference here to just fashion media) promoting an increasingly fantastical and totally unobtainable standard for women. It is remarkable that designers need to airbrush a supermodel such that her head is larger than her waist in order to promote their product. It is even more remarkable that they believe this to be a marketing strategy that will work. Or is the sad thing that it actually might??

What say you? Do they print this tosh because it actually works in getting women to buy their clothes, or have they gone too far this time?

Things I Shall Never Wear #2 - mustard

I must prefix this post with apologies to the lady in the 'photo. I express no actual opinion whatsoever on your outfit choice.

**coughs**

On my way to work this morning (Monday - groan) I saw a girl wearing mustard colour opaque tights. I did the most stalker-y thing I've ever done and snapped her on my iphone from behind. I will not mention the fact that - as you can see - she is also wearing tartan. WTF? Anyway, I digress. Tartan in casualwear is a whole other post.

I realise that this colour was all the rage a few seasons ago. On catwalks. On supermodels who can make a bucket of sick look wearable. But oh my. It's rancid. I don't know why I dislike it so much. There are few colours that I can say I would never ever consider wearing. Mustard is the only one I can bring to mind just now. Obviously not a good choice for blondes, but even brunettes don't exactly set it alight. Yellow, fine. Mustard, not fine.

As an experiment, I went to net-a-porter and typed in 'mustard' in the search box. Seven things came back, two of which were lingerie with yellow bows. One of which was a Vera Wang skirt which I would class as more yellow-y. I think the lesson for mustard is not en masse.

Anyway, the only true 'mustard' item was a Bottega Venetta skirt. Check it out.

I rest my case.

Things I shall never wear #1

I think it's time for a new item on my blog. I shall call it 'Things I shall never wear'. I was inspired to start this by a pattern I - surprisingly - saw on the Burda website. Note the pic to the left is NOT the pattern made up (no no, that pic is something I found lurking down the back of the interweb).

Behold: the skort. Are you kidding me? A mini skirt with shorts underneath? For what purpose? I honestly cannot think of a single occasion on which this would be considered a sound sartorial choice. Netball? Don't think so - netball SKIRT. Or knicker SHORTS (I still remember with horror realising in P.E. aged 12 that I was going to have to run around in front of boys wearing essentially only sturdy knickers **shudders**). Hiking? Nope, shorts thanks. Riding a bike? SHORTS. Why all the excess fabric? Any sort of social occasion whatsoever, including for the avoidance of doubt social occasions when only person present is self - EITHER SKIRT OR SHORTS, BUT NOT BOTH AT THE SAME TIME, SIMULTANEOUSLY AND CONTEMPORANEOUSLY - FFS. And what is with referring to it as a 'ladies' skort' - in case you accidentally purchase (god forbid) the version for gentlemen?

And what is with this picture - why is she raising the skirt bit of the skort (see, it even sounds ridiculous)? That's not very ladylike now is it?! If you don't want people to see your pants, then WEAR SHORTS. If you are engaged in the type activity which requires the wearing of a skirt but there is a risk that your pants might make an appearance, THEN YOU NEED TO BE WEARING SHORTS.

Jebus.