Things I shall never wear #1

I think it's time for a new item on my blog. I shall call it 'Things I shall never wear'. I was inspired to start this by a pattern I - surprisingly - saw on the Burda website. Note the pic to the left is NOT the pattern made up (no no, that pic is something I found lurking down the back of the interweb).

Behold: the skort. Are you kidding me? A mini skirt with shorts underneath? For what purpose? I honestly cannot think of a single occasion on which this would be considered a sound sartorial choice. Netball? Don't think so - netball SKIRT. Or knicker SHORTS (I still remember with horror realising in P.E. aged 12 that I was going to have to run around in front of boys wearing essentially only sturdy knickers **shudders**). Hiking? Nope, shorts thanks. Riding a bike? SHORTS. Why all the excess fabric? Any sort of social occasion whatsoever, including for the avoidance of doubt social occasions when only person present is self - EITHER SKIRT OR SHORTS, BUT NOT BOTH AT THE SAME TIME, SIMULTANEOUSLY AND CONTEMPORANEOUSLY - FFS. And what is with referring to it as a 'ladies' skort' - in case you accidentally purchase (god forbid) the version for gentlemen?

And what is with this picture - why is she raising the skirt bit of the skort (see, it even sounds ridiculous)? That's not very ladylike now is it?! If you don't want people to see your pants, then WEAR SHORTS. If you are engaged in the type activity which requires the wearing of a skirt but there is a risk that your pants might make an appearance, THEN YOU NEED TO BE WEARING SHORTS.

Jebus.